Nebraska Observer Weblog

Nebraska’s Illegal Immigration News

Are you a Liberal, Conservative or a Redneck?

Posted by nebraskaobserver on August 24, 2008

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You
have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liberal’s Answer
Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out
of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away
while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1 ?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to
a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conservative’s Answer:
BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Redneck’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click….
(sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips or Hollow Points?’

Son: ‘You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?’

Wife: ‘You are not taking that to the taxidermist.

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